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The insecurely egotistical feel men. What they want?

Posts 1 to 19 of 19

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Sabzh, exactly :mybb: Yeah, recently cooling things down its friend not friend, ah type a good familiar. Lived she itself well quietly, but accidentally in Internet met with a man. Word for word. When many those for talk. ???? have him. She was in contact in principle grudgingly. But he proved highly active, devoted it much attention, ah it this flattering for. Like as relations any friendships, gathered to meet. She, means, adequately awaits. He times postpones trip, two - is the reason not to go. Then hysterical: "Me relations not need." And offers it friendship, with continues to communicate extremely willingly, i.e. girl causes have him clear interest. I it say: Ah what friendship? He you simply uses, can be unconsciously, but uses. He - weak, that the faltering in itself man, expense of you he asserting herself. Give diagnosis: The emotional coldness. There is such booking, which can years play in one fun game. Is called - copycat neighborhood. I.e. all well-remarkable-mentally, but as only you are going approach man (psychologically I mean in mind, the intimate and personal as times can well be), he here same abandons you on distance. Want withdraw, not lampooned. Want come closer, not lampooned. Option here only one - to tear relations immediately, implicitly and stray. Otherwise this lasts years. I such on early life survived, ah and acquired immunity, and someone after all hopes, awaits, is experiencing :( In general explain I all of this lady, she says: "And can this I in than something is to blame? Perhaps I something made not so. "
Exactly, I here want until stop and ask (especially our men): That they think on this about? Namely, capable whether to climate the insecurely egotistical feel in itself men? As you? Or same my opinion too uncompromising?

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2

Simply borders have different people their. You seems, that partner is cold relative to you, and he its degree of autonomy upholds. If Iet you in you closer, simply gonna suffocate. And I raze this with uncertainty not can link. :dontknow:

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3

As I and before spoke, the basic problem in such a case - low arrangement relations. Know, as two companies work without legal treaty, like one product someone, like another pays, only both make this through times and after abundant the telephone scrum.

The main mistake majority such relations - nor the kind, nor the other side even not tries to to know have the other, that is invested in notions "friendship", "love" and "sympathy." Know Comrade, for whom friendship - this all, that anywhere, until deal not comes to sex. As only, he with whom-thread'll have sex, then emerges criterion, that this already not friendship, everything else - friendship. Or still an interesting fact: For him well normally not call and not write messages friends for weeks, no matter a boy this or girl. Imagine, that he befriended with a, for which friendship - this when every day rings and are talking.

People communicate placemarks, nominalizatsiyami. ????? for words "love", "freedom", "happiness", "success", "beauty", and camping on D. Is worth its individual set of criteria, as he understands, that this there is this, its systems experience. In this respect all we aliens - all but and live on different planets, with different semantics retain.

That concerns yours examples.
Nefakt, that given this in your example actor will equally also behave with all representatives beautiful gender. Other types, that girl under an attempt convergence makes something, that causes have him exceeded reaction. ????? its grains allowable zone comfort, trust,. All ultimately unless in goal every human, their the importance of. If under achieving meet the target is obtained in another times to inspire one and the same reaction, perhaps is worth to start thinking about own flexibility in this case. Can there is opportunity enter in more trust other way. If this again same need to.

For this need all ??? to remove temporarily emotions and watch on situation with hand - on that she resembles. Helpful situation give metaphor. Helpful also give metaphor the situation, which would you set. For example, Masha says about their relations: "I dreamt soberly and software keeps and made conclusion, that relations between Sasha and to Masha similar on tug of war." This the first metaphor. "Want, to relations were similar on Bieszczady with two teeming, synchronously grebuschikh on rapid small river and receiving from each other and from species of nature [kayf]!" This the second metaphor, most, its it is important do motivational, to she you realistically has been attracting.

And that same do next? Is logical, need discover two metaphors partner (as he sees relations and whatever he their wants viet), and on opportunities, compare their with their. Determine units 5 crucial similarities and 5 fundamental differences of. Helpful, incidentally, otranzhirovat skhostva and differences on extent importance of. For example, similarities: And have him and I have - this nature, distinctions - have him summer, I have autumn. Especially it is important worked out carefully the desired metaphor.

Further simply do conclusions. Similarities - would give you the key to those values, which will reinforce your relations, differences can help to point to those zone, in which accurately not need to nakhrapom pull partner. Ah here is in short the, that I think on this about.

To climate, I believe, capable and the insecurely egotistical feel men and women. All deal in motivation and in force will. Again same, should think, and is worth whether this man your effort.

Last edited by Upiterus (Apr 3 2008 00:24:40)

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Upiterus wrote:

Again same, should think, and is worth whether this man your effort.

And I believe, that such partners - this counterbalance and from them need to dispose as can be rather. Some women, truth, use this in their purposes, highly masterly need to say, but personally my opinion, that on manipulation honest and sincere relations not will.

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Радуга wrote:

A I believe, that such partners - this counterbalance and from them need to dispose as can be rather. Some women, truth, use this in their purposes, highly masterly need to say, but personally my opinion, that on manipulation honest and sincere relations not will.

In every of us there is and bad, and good. Say, that a man bad, because'm unsure or manipulates - means put used on the benefits, that personally you he can bring. The entire question in filter your attention. Even if he breached beyond repair ugly on personal insurance — (know one such a pepper, from him turned their backs all friends from-for his voracious desires use and fling lyuey), he certainly possesses thus characteristic of the, which you when-thread will help. "With-lousy sheep modicum wool patch of."

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Upiterus, mean to bend shlyupu before you. Very clearly and the described what I chuvstvovayu and tried to outline. Yes and technique very interesting is described, need to to 400 to apply. :cool:

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Lud_mila wrote:

Upiterus, mean to bend shlyupu before you.

Javadxan, he very is a clever :)

Upiterus wrote:

Nu here is in short the, that I think on this about.

Upiterus, I with you agree, all you very of well-described. But deal in is, that, unfortunately, have us not adopted to decide interpersonal problems civilized way. Many you saw steam, which interested – in each other and together come in cabinet to see or adopt psychological methods? I, unfortunately, no :( That in than, as me seems, the problem. Very perishing many in relations derivative benefits. Try-pay deconstruct their and often relations at all die. I somewhere in his mailing about this wrote, many export-led economies couples, seeks from dependence, at all breeding ground, for their more nothing not holds. Here is such a the sad view.

Upiterus wrote:

Since-lousy sheep modicum wool patch of. "

And here is here I with you not would argue. In my opinion, this it seems on trade. Interestingly, what extent must be internal deal, if behavior human not coincides with your behaviour beliefs? Not easier whether seek or shape circle people from similar concepts of life and deflect from what you mindedness?

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8

All Hi!

Upiterus as always stylistics. :cool:
But want add and my 3 pittance.

Rainbow wrote:

Actually, I here want until stop and ask. Capable whether to climate the insecurely egotistical feel in itself men?

Ah uncertain at best men, of course and so increasingly is difficult, and that would start change they need a a strong motivation for the, here increasingly in your, our costly a golden half of, forces. :love:
Or same, them are needed, for izmenieniy fundamentally new, can be zhestskie conditions in which them account for to adapt, but not fact, that when they will get used to these conditions, they not to return to its habitual norms behavior :mybb:

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9

Николай wrote:

but not fact, that when they will get used to these conditions, they not to return to its habitual norms behavior

Here is I and say: And need to whether it? Women, in my opinion, often commit one and the same mistake. They consider, that will be able change ??, as would "help" him. But on's often it turns out, that at all something no one change cannot be. Can be I am mistaken? Recall its one friend. Went she married for ??, which drinking his one nightly, and in the rest of the very a good, are a good, family was. She then told: I will him good wife and he will change. And carried wife was very good, at least, with hand so seemed. In a result have lived 7 years,, they spawned two dete and forget from-for his addiction to "green the dragon" and full social and personal degradation on this about.

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10

Know, Rainbow, I have a bit unusual glance on of connection.

After all if look globally, then all us missus is master instinct samosokhranienya.Everyone we not are forever, (as there soul is reborn us not known) can only to hand its slice of their descendents. This fear, ideally and should, guide us in choosing best partner for his continued roda- own immortality. But we under impact social, cultural, yes and many even curiously any factors, we lost a healthy instinct our ancestors and already not in able to do the right choice. If take a golden half, then after all in you the most nature’s budget provides for drive produce and nurture their offspring from the most viable men.A have us emancipation of and now active woman searching for not the most “strong ” ??, and points out its gaze on increasingly not use male biggest, sorry for such expression of.

Thereby she undermines prospect own immortality, worsens's gene pool nation. :tired:
And if we are talking Christian world, then he on the brink of katastroffy. Well that there is even the world Muslim, where attitude gender clearly propisany- woman goes married for the most fit for life ??, 's in labor and fosters depth children. Think, many in sight, that this model has historic prospect for its development. :flag:

Can be, my words and not all will like on Forum, but this is only – my opinion, based on life in Muslim Republic.

Last edited by Николай (Apr 3 2008 22:15:25)

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11

Николай wrote:

points out its gaze on increasingly not use male biggest, sorry for such expression of

Fully agree with you. And pushes on this uncertainty women, desire to control weak ??. Sentiment another history :) from life neighbors. Have lived we with them 30 years side about side, so all was happening on the eyes of. Means, were friends a boy with girl. Were friends still with schools, he then in army is gone, she his waited, went to him, letters each other wrote on 5-6 units in day. She has bedside table was the entire bar stoned these letters. Returned he, played set, through couple of years she has given birth to. And still through 3 month he from it moves away. All in of shock. She, naturally, sobbing, nights spent not sleeping, do undercut by iai?i, because she trained be favorite, and here betrayal is manifest + a small child on the hands of. Still through couple of months he is returning. She outside themselves from joy, as forgives his, accepts. And then he again moves away. And so 8 times! Not can he, means, figure out the whether with it remain, then whether with girlfriend on the very moment already deeply pregnant. Finally translated divorce. She on this soil making herself ill, evolved she has phobia an open space. Not can on streets exits, I its: Let would complete until stop, in a minibus, dude I'ma put you, but on other end cities its someone faced. Could not she on the street one be, dizziness, vomiting, celui. In general inherited it :( Our time for standing pat resisted. Met she with guy from their meeting, have become to live together. That she makes? She forces his sell his apartment and makes on these money in his apartment been professionally remodeled. Lives he she has, but, understandably, 's a connected guy on batty and yet, because its apartment he has no. Were belittled by she his on-the dire, slightly that shouted: "Leave, you me not need." One times he is gone, so she, fromhuman on him announced through their known, forced to return. The clean psychological slavery. Child to his from first marriage, too, this was whether well. Guy that the faltering grew, in adolescence were problems with communicating with peers. She his to see on reception Traveler. Psychologist says: "Have him low do, not robіt him reservations under outsiders, shop in room and theatre tell." Ah she and Traveler as something his in room when Visitors were,... flattened on gender and being battered with their feet. Then says: "I same not under all this made, so psychologist told." Here is such a "cheerful" history pro self-affirmation for someone else's expense and uncertainty flesh of men. Attention question!’whether in this case civilized psychological ?????? And, incidentally speaking, family under such problems have them highly robust, that surprisingly, because secondary psychological the benefits tsementiruet relations very firmly sometimes. Incidentally, with the first husband she with this pores retained excellent relations, he she has in lovers someone who churchgoers. The second, of course, and not has hit on. Family slog on pulling.

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12

Watson: Ta all for gratitude of! :) )

Радуга wrote:

Upiterus, I with you agree, all you very of well-described. But deal in is, that, unfortunately, have us not adopted to decide interpersonal problems civilized way. Many you saw steam, which interested – in each other and together come in cabinet to see or adopt psychological methods?

The, who wants, searching for resources, who not wants - excuses. Wishing must both - on the they and relations, to together to decide be them or not. The problem there is, agree, its roots - in our modern culture relations, we themselves not pay it adequate attention and, in the best case, understand its the importance of in moment another divide assets.

Радуга wrote:

MA – It perishing many in relations derivative benefits. Try-pay deconstruct their and often relations at all die. I somewhere in his mailing about this wrote, many export-led economies couples, seeks from dependence, at all breeding ground, for their more nothing not holds. Here is such a the sad view.

Ah hello! If these Hypnotizes psychologist, then this his verdaderamente. He should pre to open the possible consequences, and then already produce disposing. He owes warn, that choice, dispose from dependence or not, lies on paired.

Радуга wrote:

A here is here I with you not would argue. In my opinion, this it seems on trade. Interestingly, what extent must be internal deal, if behavior human not coincides with your behaviour beliefs? Not easier whether seek or shape circle people from similar concepts of life and deflect from what you mindedness?

And that, exactly, bad in trade? Yes let this will business relations - kind of, "Whooaah better, than torn. I and my former wife only get mutual benefit (and moral and material) from what have turned our former interpersonal relations in workers, instead of, to to break and spit each other in footprint. She for me superavtoritetnyy professional, I, too, can bring it favor. Better mutual respect and trade abilities (those more if their are prepared buy, than full gap. After all need in grievances about often remains forever out of reach after gap, there after all for years to come it comes deal until habits. For example, wife can get used, that husband-cool mechanic there repairs them its machine. Again same speech goes about [with beliefs in some exemplified context, so can be find context, where index not will. And this not excludes fomirovaniya circle from normal people for this rights.

Last edited by Upiterus (Apr 3 2008 23:54:11)

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Радуга wrote:

’ whether in this case civilized psychological ??????

Oops, Lena. About any precisely techniques you speak? On every screw - its grains a screwdriver. Something treated ordinary limits with of images, and somewhere need to looking back into reimprinting. And the, and another works, but every in his area.

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He, who wants, searching for resources, who not wants - excuses. Wishing must both - on the they and relations, to together to decide be them or not. The problem there is, agree, its roots - in our modern culture relations, we themselves not pay it adequate attention and, in the best case, understand its the importance of in moment another divide assets

And that with this to do?

He should pre to open the possible consequences, and then already produce disposing. He owes warn, that choice, dispose from dependence or not, lies on paired

Yes I like not wrote pro the, that psychologist should not warn and informing. And like as responsibility should to shoulder every, who wants to change his life. Should, but far not always commits itself to! And the who in paired has more benefits for themselves, precisely he will resist changes. If borrow rolevoe distribution of in of dependent families, how times ??? members family with sign "minus" (Sensitive and Asshole) more just tend to to changes, although after Sensitive often is changing roles with Paul, and here is Real arseholes subsequently very well are realized in life. And here is Pokrovitel (superficially-looking as sufferer) and Hero of resist until the last, because many lose. But I has moved in side.

A that, exactly, bad in trade?

And that good in trade, if speech goes about human relations? And then I not wrote so as you me a responsibility. Here is my quote fully:

Interesting, what extent must be internal deal, if behavior human not coincides with your behaviour beliefs?

Will repeat still times, to avoid peredergivaniya their words: If behavior human NOT SOVPADAET Since your beliefs. If coincides, that for sake of God I with you agree and about Auto Club to you and the rest of the, heap examples when people the parting retain normal relations, in including and business.
And if there is no? Where moment, when flexibility turns into having no spine? In my opinion, its inherent stake need to have, not bend over backwards under circumstances.

zhyttja, Lena. About any precisely techniques you speak?

I say about civilized methods. And still want to say about, that in psychology there is things more important the most rasprekrasnykh techniques, ironically sounds. Namely - readiness to changes. I not think, that in described I family changes were would positive and effective. People to changes were simply are not prepared, they them were not need precisely because that there all "perfectly" samoutverzhdalis expense of each other.

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Радуга wrote:

And that with this to do?

Question goes beyond this themes, enters in area public morality, ideology and culture, and is worth separate books, honestly say, not thought over these.

Радуга wrote:

A that good in trade, if speech goes about human relations?

Lena, your thesis was, quote from a:

Радуга wrote:

Variant here only one - to tear relations immediately, implicitly and stray. Otherwise this lasts years.

Not make any attempts on yours right so considered, but simply himself believe, that it is far more productive not to tear, and to transfer their in another direction - for example business (trade). Otherwise often so is obtained, that "together with water dumping it child."

Радуга wrote:

if behavior human NOT SOVPADAET Since your beliefs

Here is precisely "POVEDENIE"! Much worse when belief human not coincides with your behaviour beliefs. We most often react precisely on behavior and not think about what beliefs form such behavior - and this and there is the root of the all woes. For example, girl often opazyvaet on access, that very strongly upset its guy. He sees tardy (behavior) and believes, that she his time not valued nor on that (belief). Although have girls behind this behavior is worth absolutely another belief - she wants to look maximally super for him and spends much time on makeup and pratik. You same not can clashes guarantee, that your the familiar quite figured ubezheniya his guy, which and not pitnu, and approximate not gives? She same only on behavior, made conclusion, that guy - burden.

Радуга wrote:

A if there is no? Where moment, when flexibility turns into having no spine? In my opinion, its inherent stake need to have, not bend over backwards under circumstances.

Here the entire question in extent importance of, that your the familiar sees to his fellow. Need to remember, that even a favorite man - this not your property, the more he must not become your an idol. T. E. Psychological slavery, in which is mired man, enough easily played beautiful (on first glance, and in deeds unspeakable) words: "I cannot without you to live!" If this romantic pathos - this still far nor resisted, but if people in this seriously believes and unfortunately itself veins, when from him go - this and there is slavery. Inherent stake its need to have on-any, and not try to straight for the responsibility for his life on someone.

Радуга wrote:

I say about civilized methods.

Understandable 8-)

Радуга wrote:

A precisely - readiness to changes. I not think, that in described I family changes were would positive and effective. People to changes were simply are not prepared, they them were not need precisely because that there all "perfectly" samoutverzhdalis expense of each other.

There is such an important step in psychotherapy and only, is called "collection information." This step precedes any technology, and precisely on this move is determined by, ready whether C to changes, had whether he effects, which will follow after technology. Of course, without collection information and distribution responsibility engage psychotherapies can accomplish this - this is nonsense.

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Ah here is my 5 kopecks in your conversation. Struck I have the whether love, then whether dependence with loaded. For year tear with our and are starting increasingly first already 3 th times, and each time and include turning on my people their positions, and he uperto is worth on its and exacerbates the our disagreements. And here is I the understand, that my having no spine until for good not over me, of walking on training to Herman my category: Karelian. On Seth and I, event country open my sustain creativity side and sexuality, I very well realized, that I under their entire kompaneyskosti, fear! Men, that not I pick a, and me, that others’touch for me brrrrrr. Revelations for themselves the most! Yes and for many my known think, too,. Question: And that do the?! Under such a gallon of ink ?? me not find, and I simply became preoccupied with the reading literature on astrology, think until training already not far. Decided with such hand deal in their the roaches!

Upiterus wrote:

T. E. Psychological slavery, in which is mired man, enough easily played beautiful (on first glance, and in deeds unspeakable) words: "I cannot without you to live!" If this romantic pathos - this still far nor resisted, but if people in this seriously believes and unfortunately itself veins, when from him go - this and there is slavery. Inherent stake its need to have on-any, and not try to straight for the responsibility for his life on someone.

Not I’d say that this accurately pro me, but when he near me much better! Can be whether near a good psychologist, we and not lost would so much time on the search for own "edges" through which need to to move, that would to live further and to live happily.

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Галина wrote:

The subject: And that do the?!

And that to do? Galya, here move only one - this deep and meticulous delegation is source travmatichnogo material. On an empty place such things not emerge. Still well, that you this realize. This already gender-affairs. Many women, have which problems with perceptions of his bodies, unconsciously choose beyond them partners in different options. Because. And suddenly is available will? This OK hug need to, and this ah raze :( body not near him!.

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Upiterus wrote:

She same only on behavior, made conclusion, that guy - burden.

Yes there is no, why?. Vadim, frankly, I is tired debate :nope:

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Nooo, Rainbow! Its body I perfectly am aware! :love: And he for me in sense bodies absolutely is available. Samved comes with words "I can't. Body you wants! "With bodies have us all in order, have him cockroaches in brain and here is with them I nothing do about it not can, and he not wants. And I have what words’s sharpened perception of beauty human body, because and not can to perceive near just hand that shit whom. But all of this well with other hand! Otherwise I would not became preoccupied with unique! :flag: A read as damaging detective, than further those more interesting.

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